Friday, 19 December 2008

ELF PORTRAIT



From this self portrait you'd be forgiven for thinking I'm just a highfaluting fashion model, the sort you read about in the papers. But you'd be mistaken- I only do that part time. The rest of the time, as you know, is spent drawing. I've just finished a book where I've been asked to supply a picture of myself and a sort of mini-biography. Not much of any interest has happened in my life so even a mini biography sounds like a big ask.

I've been putting all this off for weeks as I'd assumed they'd want a photograph but my agent says that if I don't have a photo of myself that doesn't show me to be too short or tubby or unkempt (I honestly don't have the time to be kempt) or without oddly shaped, elfin ears, I can supply a drawing instead! Erm, thanks Duncan, good man...I think.

So this is my self portrait and it's as flattering as my vanity would allow after it had a big scrap with my integrity. I've left out the really bad parts so you can imagine (though please don't try, you'll wake up screaming) what the photo would have looked like.

Sadly, I've been told the biography ought to be grounded in some kind of reality.